Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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