Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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