Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
