Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
