I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
