Fuck appropriateness.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
