I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
