..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I think I just shit out all my problems.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
