is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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