A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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