I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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