and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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