In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
