im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
