To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
