I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
