I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
the condom got lost in my hair
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
