I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
You are the jesus of drinking
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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