you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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