similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
