i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
