hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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