you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
