You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
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Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
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