I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
