WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Randomize
