I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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