No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
