Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
