a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
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