I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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