shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
