I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
