Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
