it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
well you can't waste a boner
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
