dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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