I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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