the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
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im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
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Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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