this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Randomize
