I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
