Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
