I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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