dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
