go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
