repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
