then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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