i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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