i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
