Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
All I want is dick and wine.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
