I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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