I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
