Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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