She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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