Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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