I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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