Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
