I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
