I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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