I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize