I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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