I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Randomize
