you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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