So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
